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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

May 19th, 2006: T Minus 3 Days

The fake book cover made for the gallery signing in the beginning of FOC2. 
Picture by my brother Paul C. Kangas, book design by Rich Henn.
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Yeah, maybe I did. But how was I to know today was going to be such a fuckin spectacularly blogtastic day?

For those who don't know...in the credits at the end of my films I thank people who have been instrumental in helping me get the film done. That section starts with "The Director Wishes to Thank..."

But I also have a section that says "The Director Does NOT Wish to Thank..." and I list the nimrods who pissed me off during the creation.

Today, we have our second candidate for the listing in FOC2. Enter U-Haul.

See, we're going to burn my old car in the film. The car doesn't run at all, but it LOOKS sweet. It's a sports coupe. I still get people asking whether it's for sale since it's been sitting in my driveway for 2 years.

But I need to get it towed 50 miles to where we're filming. I haven't had too much luck, so I finally figured we'd tow the bitch ourselves with one of the crew's trucks.

Tuesday I stopped by U-Haul to ask about reserving a tow bar for the car. They told me they couldn't do anything. I had to call the main office which would give me the location and time I could pick it up.

So Wednesday I call the main office. They say they can't reserve it until the day before I want to tow. Call back tomorrow if I want it Friday.

So I call back Thursday. I wait another 10 minutes on hold and then tell the person I need to reserve a tow. The person says they don't have a lot of options open. I should have called earlier in the week to reserve it, because a lot of people reserve the tow bars for weekend towing.

I'm still pretty calm about it. I explain nicely what the other pinhead--I mean, representative--said about not being able to reserve it until today. This new rep sets me up and says okay, someone will call back before the end of the day to tell me where and when I can pick up the bar.

And oh yeah--this guy says I can't tow my specific car with the two-wheels-off-the- ground tow bar. My car is so low that it will drag the car's back end. I have to use the tow bar that picks up all 4 wheels. It's $10 more a day. I say, fine, whatever. They ask what I'm towing the car with and I tell them the truck we're using. Fine, fine.

No one calls me that day. Friday comes around and I call them when I wake up at 2pm(I went to sleep about 7am). After waiting--I kid you not--15 minutes for a rep, they tell me I can pick up the tow bar at the U-haul. In Baltimore.

Now...there are 3 effing U-Hauls closer than the one in Baltimore. Driving into Baltimore is also a nightmare. They're working on the main road into Baltimore right now, and it's closed down to 1 lane. So this not cool.

I tell the guy, in very clear and concise 4 letter words what I think of this. I explain that I've had nothing but problems with his shitty company, and this is one more pile of shit he's thrown in. He says Hold On, he'll transfer me to a supervisor.

Instead, he hangs up on me. Rather than call back and wait 20 minutes to try to talk to a rep I just call the Baltimore Office. I tell him I have a reservation for the tow bar and give him my name.

He tells me, very accusatory, "You were supposed to pick it up at noon." I say, and I quote: "If you fucking pinheads had called me yesterday like you were supposed to then maybe I could have done that." Then I gave him the short version of the crap I had put up with so far from his company.

His attitude turned fast. He said I could pick it up anytime up til 8pm. I said thanks.

And I thought it was all over. A done deal. Couldn't get any worse.

Then I get the call. The guy picking up the tow has been told he cannot take it because they say his truck doesn't have the proper hitch on it. He tells them he's pulled the largest truck U-Haul has to offer with that truck, but they won't budge. They will not let him take the tow.

So here I am--with 2 days to get this fucking car across 50 miles to the location, and I'm not sure how to do it. Two tow truck companies turned me down last week--they don't want to tow that far, especially across the Bay Bridge. That's why I was going with the U-Haul option.

Now I have to get up early and make a lot of calls to see just how expensive it's gonna get. I'm sure SOMEONE will do it--the question becomes a matter of price.

Man, I know I say it everytime, but this is the LAST MOVIE I'M SHOOTING...

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